Children often have serious verbal weapons in their sleeves, and one of them are the words “I hate you” which can inflict the serious damage to the emotions of the parents. Causing tears, anger and suspicion in their own parent qualities are just some of the consequences that the words of contempt can cause.
You are not alone, so don’t worry. Almost every mother and parent in certain period of life faces this kind of situation. The major question is “Is my child really hates me?” . The answer is of course NOT.
Children often have a limited vocabulary, and they do not know how to explain their anger or frustration when something bad happened to them, and frequently the words “I hate” is their way to communicate and expose their emotions or to get what they want.
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.
– Frederick Douglass
This is how to deal with this kind of situations:
- Resist the temptation to return with the same kind of emotions. It will not solve the problem, but you will show your child that the best way to deal with verbal attack is through verbal counterattack.
- Stay calm and focus on the feelings of your child. Don’t lose control of the situation, even in most of us the natural reaction would be to scream loudly: “You can not talk to me like that, I’m your mother” or “That is a thank you for everything I’ve done for you.” This reaction will only show your child that you lose control of the situation. Do not focus on yourself, the important thing is what your child feels.
- Don’t laugh and do not underestimate your child’s feelings. Children need to know and be sure that parents recognize their feelings, show respect for the feelings of your small child, no matter how ridiculous you look the reason behind them. For him, they will always be great things.
- Prepare an answer like “I love you for both.” When this situation occurs, do not be surprised.
- If you are hard to control at the moment say you will talk in 15 minutes.
- When you set limits for your child, give him alternatives. Instead of just saying “You can not eat chocolate,” add “But you can not eat or apple or banana” or “Can not play on the computer,” give him a choice “But can either pick or toys to help your mom to prepare the table for dinner. “
- Don’t compare with families you see on TV or just any other families.
- When you are reading stories together, talk about how the characters in them deal with anger and frustration.
- Teach your kid what other words to use instead of “hate” to express his feelings.
As a parent, you should know that your little one will be angry, say bad words and feel negative emotions, just like the adults. Your task is to make him happy every minute of the day. Build a person who knows how to control their emotions and showing respect for others’ feelings.
Parenting is the most difficult and the most beautiful job in the world at the same time.